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So a few years ago a friend sent this to me and I laughed so hard I cried! 
Thought I would share it with you ladies as a reminder of what we crazy 
women have to go through! Compared to men that is;)



All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, 
painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The 
Wax!! My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix 
dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring 
painfully in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should pull the 
wax out of the medicine cabinet?" So I headed to the site of my demise; 
the bathroom. 

It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
 just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and 
you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair
 comes right off! No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no 
girly, girl, but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it 
out. *YA THINK!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips 
facing each other, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I 
get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear 
end (Oh, how this phrase haunts me!). 

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. 
OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do 
this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all 
wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!! With my next wax 
strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak back into 
the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. 

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same 
procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini 
line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the 
inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply 
and brace myself.... RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded 
from pain!!!!!!... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that 
I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S**T!! Another deep 
breath and RRIIPP... 

Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums????? OK, back 
to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy 
pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel 
in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. 

I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS 
THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I 
see the hair... The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am 
touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of 
my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make 
the next BIG mistake . . . . . . . Remember, my foot is still propped 
up on the toilet. 

I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear the 
slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!!! I
 penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and 
think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may
 pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water
 I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and 
the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? *WRONG!!!!* 
I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture 
prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. 

Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued 
together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom 
of the tub. In scalding hot water!! Which, by the way, doesn't melt
 cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless 
the man what convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I 
call my friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret 
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my 
butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" 

There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try 
to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax 
is located on bottom, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's 
laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown 
and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!! 
Right!!!!!! I would be the joke of someone else's night. 

While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax 
off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies 
covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, 
and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now, the brain is not 
working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut 
land. My friend is still talking with me as my hand reaches towards the 
saving grace... The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What 
do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!! 

The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, 
but I really don't care!! "IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty 
congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove 
the remainder of the wax and then notice, to my grief and despair... 
THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! So, I shaved it off. 
Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color . . . . . .